Transitioning to College: Friends & Roommates

The transition to college is at least in part challenging due to the social adjustments that must be made. For most students, their entire social and support networks must be reestablished and reformed in the new environment of college. For some students, these networks have been formed over the course of 13 years! Starting over can be daunting, and so, this week, we encourage you to consider the following:

How will you focus your efforts to establish social connections?

Here are some additional questions to consider:

• When will you learn of your housing situation and roommates?

• Have you received any roommate questionnaires or surveys from your college designed to help pair you with others? Be sure to answer these questions thoroughly and thoughtfully, being honest with yourself about who you are.

• Alumni Advice: Many students will find their roommate via a Facebook group. Many of these groups are monitored by university administrators, so be mindful about what you decide to post about yourself online! (Be aware of this cautionary tale!)

• Alumni Advice: Don’t room with friends from high school. If you are close with someone else going to your college, each of you should room with someone else. It will allow you both to have more friends right away!

• What will you want to communicate with your roommates about you? (TIP: Be honest about your living habits and share who you are, not the person you wish you were or hope to become!)

• Alumni Advice: Be sure to discuss who is bringing what, especially when it comes to bigger items such as refrigerators, radios, televisions, etc.

• What clubs, activities, or other opportunities will you take advantage of early in your college career to be involved and to meet others?

• Alumni Advice: Take advantage of all of the activities and opportunities that your college provides in the early going. Some of them may be cheesy, but you have to put yourself out there to make friends.

• It is entirely common for college freshmen to experience homesickness. Have you explored the resources available if you encounter homesickness yourself?

• Alumni Advice: Remember that everyone is going through the same challenges as you in being new at college!

• Have you thought about how you will go about having conversations with your roommate(s) about boundaries and rules for the room, particularly around cleanliness, bedtimes, and having friends over?

• Do you know about campus resources to turn to if there is a roommate conflict that requires mediation? Are there TAs or RAs available in the dormitories? Residential life staff members?

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Transitioning to College: Packing

Looking ahead to the move out of the home and to a new city and country for the next three or four years can be a daunting thing to comprehend for many. The transition to a new school and community aside, what will you bring? So, this week we ask you to consider the following fundamental question:

What will you bring with you to college?

Here are some additional questions to consider:

• What luggage will you use to transport your belongings? Can you carry them all yourself? Have you considered that you might need a particular piece of luggage for shorter travel home or elsewhere throughout the school year?

• What carry on baggage will you bring with you?

• Alumni Advice: All airlines have weight restrictions as well as limits on the number of pieces you may check and carry-on. Be sure to research in advance what your airlines allow for each and to plan carefully.

• Alumni Advice: Most international flights will allow you to check two pieces of luggage per person; however, be aware that if you have connecting or domestic flights, you may have to pay for additional baggage for the domestic flights, especially if you have to switch airlines! (And make sure you have enough time between flights!)

• Beyond clothing, what things do you want to bring with you from home? Consider over-the-counter cold medicine and other self-care products that are easier to find and/or cheaper near your home.

• What will you bring with you in terms of clothing? Have you looked at the climate and average weather? What will you need to get that you don’t need here and when/where will you get it?

• Alumni Advice: Begin making a packing list as early in the spring of your senior year as you can! It will be fine if you forget some things, though!

• Alumni Advice: Be sure to think about bringing items that will make you feel at home in your dorm room!

• Are there things that you can purchase when you arrive rather than bring from home?

• Alumni Advice: Don’t bother buying cold weather gear if you live in a warm-weather place. The stuff at your school will be better. And, if you’re in the US, you can always just order from LL Bean later!

• Alumni Advice: Do not buy sheets outside the US! There’s no such thing as Twin XL sheets outside the US, and most dormitory beds in the US are this size.

• Conversely, are there things that you can mail to yourself?

• Alumni Advice: Put aside things that you won’t need until second semester (or if in the US, after Thanksgiving break), and either bring them back with you when you come or have your parents mail them later to save space in the fall!

• Do you know if your school provides the opportunity for storage over the summer so you don’t have to bring everything home each year? If not, are there local storage facilities?

• Alumni Advice: Do not pack food! It is a waste of space in luggage. Either mail it or figure out where you can buy it when you arrive. (Parents, care packages are a great way to surprise your children when they are away!)

• Alumni Advice: Parents, please keep in mind that this is a very stressful time for students. Don’t be domineering about the packing process! Be helpful and supportive and offer assistance if needed, but don’t dominate this process.

• If you are able to communicate with your roommates or suitemates, be sure to do so! Many communal groups will coordinate larger ticket purchases like rugs, TVs, video games, futons, etc. Also think about things like hot plates and water heaters (if they are permitted), and coordinating with them who will bring what!

• Alumni Advice: Bed, Bath and Beyond is a terrific resource. There is a searchable database of what to bring based on the individual college. Check it out!

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Transitioning to College: Safety

Regardless of where in the world students have lived or from where they hail, transitioning to college and a new environment requires some consideration of safety. Particularly for those of our students who have resided among the world’s safest cities for their entire lives, it is important to consider a number of factors related to keeping oneself safe. As such, we ask that you consider the following:

What are the resources available in regards to safety?

Please consider these additional, more pointed questions:

• Where are local hospitals in relation to your college? Police stations? Fire stations?

• Alumni Advice: Learn all of these numbers and program them into your cell phone and share those numbers with your family!

• Where will you seek medical care while at college? Is there an on-campus doctor or clinic? Or are there off-campus options?

• In regards to medical care, what will be the extent of your medical insurance coverage? Most colleges provide some sort of insurance, and some require all students to be enrolled. Will you remain on your parents’ insurance as well? Do you have copies of your vaccination records? Do you have a copy of your insurance cards?

• Do you know where the local Emergency Room is? And do you know what typical ER protocol is in terms of when you should visit an ER and what to do when you are there?

• Do you know your blood type?

• Do you know the difference between an ER and Urgent Care centers or clinics?

• What is your comfort level with basic first aid? Where can you buy basic medical supplies local to your university?

• Have you examined your university’s campus safety/security program and offerings? Most schools have a campus emergency number. (Program this one into your phone, too!)

• Is there a campus blue light system or the equivalent?

• Have you examined any maps of your destination city in regards to safety as well as public transportation options?

• Are you aware of what the “buddy system” is? (Learn and practice it always!)

• Do you have relatives or family friends nearby? What are their addresses and phone numbers? Program them into your phone!

• Have you considered who might be an emergency contact? Some universities will require an emergency contact within the country of the school.

• Are you aware of legal differences between your home and your host state/region/country? For example, consider open-container (alcohol), legal drinking ages, weapons, sexual consent, etc.

• Alumni Advice: While it is not uncommon for citizens to argue with police in other parts of the world, this is unacceptable and even illegal practice in other countries, such as the US. Show police respect always!

• Alumni Advice: Use good sense: don’t flash valuables around or allow yourself to be victim of crimes of opportunity.

• Alumni Advice: Always be aware of your surroundings, and, for example, take out headphones when walking home alone, especially at night.

• Alumni Advice: Do not text or talk on the phone when crossing the road.

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Transitioning to College: Communication

Leaving home to head to college typically means a restructuring of daily life in light of the newfound independence that university life provides… for parents and for students! That said, one of the elements of daily life that we all take for granted when we live under the same roof is communication. Most families tend to operate in routines, and those routines most regularly provide opportunities for students and for parents to connect and communicate, if not daily then at least regularly. So, in light of how these routines will need to be adjusted, we ask that you consider the following:

How will you communicate with your family?

Here are several additional questions and points to consider as you consider establishing a communication plan:

• What is an appropriate amount of communication home? What is too much? What is not enough?

• What does this communication look like? Is it on the phone? Videoconferencing? Texting?

• Who will initiate the communication?

• When will the communication take place?

• Alumni Advice: Many families recommend setting a weekly time for a more formal and lengthier call home, such as on a Sunday night. That said, take time to consider how the time difference can wreak havoc on communication plans.

• Parent Insight: ”A video conference with our daughter once a week freshman year was plenty. Always having it on Saturday afternoon for her was really helpful, as she never had to worry about us expecting to talk at unplanned times.”

• What are the expectations regarding communication with other relatives? Grandparents, siblings, others?

• With whom will you share your college mailing address? (Parents: care packages — shipments of reminders of home — go a long, long way for college students!)

• Have you collected all of your relatives’ mailing addresses? (Students: periodic postcards with handwritten messages can be pleasant surprises.)

• What are expectations surrounding academic updates? Keep in mind that colleges generally will not communicate with parents about student grades or other issues!

• What constitutes an emergency? And whom will the student contact? And how? What is the designated mechanism for communication in the event of an emergency? Be sure to explore the expectations around emergencies clearly!

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Navigating the Wait List

Not all application decisions rendered by colleges fall neatly into the categories of “accepted” or “denied.” The third, often more emotionally challenging result, is the wait list or waiting list. The chances of getting off the wait list are slim on a national (US) average, but there are several things to understand and then to do, which we hope to illuminate here.

First, what is the wait list? In as simple a definition as possible, the wait list is a pool of applicants to whom the admission office has not granted outright admission but whom they might still consider if they have space once all deposits are counted.

Why do colleges use wait lists? Simply put, the admissions practices at colleges and universities in the US are driven predominantly by the need to fill a specific number of beds, their enrollment target. In order to do this, colleges focus on yield, which is the number of students who were admitted who actually attend, and the wait list protects yield. To explain further, let’s consider a simplified example of a college that is looking to fill 1000 beds in the freshman class. Some individual way up the leadership hierarchy of the admissions team is responsible for constructing a yield model that predicts yield. This is an enormously complicated calculus that we will not try to explain here, but suffice it to say that predicting the behavior of adolescents is tricky. However, let’s say that this college anticipates a 50% yield, which is to say that half of all admitted students will deposit and enroll. If they are looking to fill 1000 beds, then the logic would suggest that they admit 2000 students at that 50% yield to result in filling those 1000 beds. However, given the imprecise nature of yield predictions, colleges would rather avoid being over (and have too many students to fill their limited beds) and consequently typically pursue being under. In our overly simplified example, the admissions team might aim to admit 900 students by admitting 1800 instead. In this model, this college would then go to the wait list to creep toward their enrollment target of 1000 beds.

How do colleges use the wait list? As with most of the information here, the specific details of practice at individual colleges vary, but the general ideas are roughly accurate across the board. In regards to this question, most colleges release decisions by April 1 and expect students to deposit at one (and only one) college by May 1. As such, as deposits and refusals (those students who have made the decision to enroll or not, respectively) come in, colleges begin looking at their wait list pool. For example, if there are a disproportionate number of women in their enrolling pool, then they might start looking at men from the waitlist. If there is not enough diversity, then they might start looking at those factors. If they need more athletes, artists, business majors, etc… At some point, usually after May 1, colleges will then either release all students from the wait list because they reached their targeted enrollment (essentially denying all remaining students on the wait list), or they will start making offers to wait-listed applicants. If we consider the example from the previous question, they will look to fill those 100 beds, but they will do so based on their institutional needs based on the demographics and composition of those students who have already deposited. So, in considering this, the wait list is not really a list at all, with students all receiving a rank or number; instead, it is a pool from which they will look to sculpt their incoming class.

What can I do to get admitted off the wait list? There is no sure-fire way to guarantee admission off of the wait list — remember that the overall chances of getting off the wait list are small! — but there are things that students can do to make sure that if a college is going to the wait list, that they are considered.

1. Focus first on where you were admitted. Make a plan to accept one of the offers of admission from the schools to which you were admitted and to make a deposit before May 1. That is most important. Do not overly focus attention on the wait list.

2. Determine whether you would like to accept offers to remain on the wait list. Once you have chosen where you will deposit, you need to ask whether you would definitely attend the school whose wait list you have been offered. If you cannot say definitively that you would attend, then it does not make sense to accept the spot on the wait list. In this case, decline the wait list offers and move on with the places where you have been admitted or other wait list offers.

3. Carefully consider what is asked of you to remain on the wait list. Posts like this are somewhat dangerous in that we are providing an overview of what might be asked of you, whereas the actual expectations of a college (which change year-to-year) are articulated carefully to the student directly. Strictly follow the instructions the schools provide!

4. Demonstrating Continued Interest. Most colleges will ask wait-listed students to somehow demonstrate their continued interest in their school. Ultimately, these instructions tend to be very specific. Keep in mind that the admissions team at all colleges is focusing on yielding students throughout April; they are not ignoring wait-listed students per se, but the wait list is not their top priority, so the trick is to articulate your desire to be admitted and to follow the instructions provided while not coming across as pushy, aggressive, or annoying. This is a slippery slope, but it is most easily navigated if the student has effectively engaged in establishing a relationship with the admissions officer previously! That said, in most cases, colleges will provide instructions on how to demonstrate continued interest, which usually is through an additional letter to be uploaded to a portal or sent to a particular person or institutional email address. Sometimes specific prompts are provided for students to respond to, but often there is no structure. In this latter case, we recommend students consider the following for inclusion in their letter:

   1. What has changed in your life since time of application? Interests, activities, family life, etc.

   2. Are there any updates to share? Accolades, performances, awards?

   3. What has continued to resonate with you about this college? Programs, majors, professors, specific courses, etc.

   4. How have you remained the same? Grades, activities, etc?

   5. Tell them that if admitted, you would 100% attend. (If you cannot say this, with the exception of financial aid packages, then do not remain on the wait list.)

5. Work with your college or guidance counselor. Finally, your college counselor can be helpful to you throughout the wait list process. They can be helpful in brainstorming and proofing letters and emails, but they can also provide additional advocacy whenever possible.

What does the timing look like here? We continue to share new ways in which the college landscape has changed. The wait list is one notable example of this. Until recently, colleges, by and large, never went to the wait list until after May 1, the date by which admitted students must deposit. Until that date, they would not know for sure how many wait list spots they must fill. However, over the last several years, colleges started going to the wait list prior to May 1, with the hope that if they were to beat their competitors to a particular wait-listed student, then they would have a better chance at yielding. (One college with whom I spoke recently shared that on May 1, they have to make 4 calls to yield one student off the wait list while on July 1, they have to make 25 calls to yield 1.) However, this trend has accelerated and last year, we saw some of the most selective institutions on the planet go to the wait list well before May 1. As such, it is our firm recommendation to complete all expectations to remain on the wait list as soon as possible. While previously we would have recommended to get the work done by May 1, we are now recommending that students work to accept or deny spaces and then to submit any requested materials as close to April 1 as possible.

What happens if I do get admitted off the wait list? If a student deposits at one college and then gets offered an acceptance off the wait list at another institution, the timing of the offer determines the process. If the wait list acceptance is offered prior to May 1, then the student must notify the institution to which he or she initially deposited of his or her intention to accept a spot at the other college; typically the initial deposit would be refunded. Then the student may deposit at the new college. However, if the wait list offer is made after May 1, the same process applies, but the initial deposit (typically) is nonrefundable.

What if I get multiple wait list admission offers? Implicit within this question is one about choosing to remain on multiple wait lists. We do not take issue with a student remaining on several wait lists so long as the student would accept an offer of admission to each of them over the college to which he or she has deposited. If a student remains on multiple wait lists and is offered admission from one, we ask that he or she reconsider their decision to remain on the still-pending wait lists. For example, if a student is wait-listed at 5 colleges (not outside the realm of possibility), remains on all of them, and is offered admission to her third favorite place (#3), then we would ask that she then remove herself from the wait list at colleges #4 and #5 given that, logically, she would not ever accept the offer of admission over #3. Things can get tricky if multiple wait list admission offers arrive simultaneously, but we would ask the student to communicate with his/her college counselor to navigate the process.

Transitioning to College: Finances

When students leave the comforts of their own homes and move on to the independence of college, one of the topics that frequently falls through the cracks — according to many students — is financial responsibility. Often university is the first time a student has ever had to create and live by a budget, think about financial planning, and be aware of the implications of their spending. This topic is one that could occupy a far greater space within the panoply of college transition, but for now, we encourage all seniors and their parents to consider this question:

What will you do about managing your money while in college?

Here are several additional questions and points to consider:

• Will you have a budget and/or allowance?

• Where will “pocket money” come from? What expenses will come from pocket money? What will parents provide?

  • For example, who will pay for transportation to and from school? Textbooks and school supplies? Holidays if not coming home?

  • Do you know how to use an ATM card? Do you know what to do with a paper check?

    • True Story: A college student recently shared, “I know how to take money OUT of the ATM. How do I deposit money INTO the bank? What do I do with a check?”

  • How will you fill up your cash card/ATM for meals, laundry, books, etc?

• Will you get an on- or off-campus job?

• Will you get a job over the summers to earn your own money?

• Will you use a bank local to your home or will you open an account in your host area/country? In whose name will the account be? Will parents have access to it? Is there online banking? When will you set up these accounts?

• Alumni Advice: Recent alums strongly recommend a local bank in the host country! Get there early, they say, and open up your own account! (Be sure to check with your university about any special deals or recommendations about which banks to use. They often have special arrangements with local banks, particularly the ones that provide the ATMs on campus!)  

• Will you have access to a credit card? Will you get it at home or in the host area/country?

• Will parents monitor bank statements?

• How will you track expenses? Consider an app such as Mint!

• Do you know how to use Venmo and PayPal?

• If you are on financial aid, consider the following:

  • Work study: US schools will typically include work-study as part of a financial aid package, a part that you can choose to decline or accept.

  • Will you pay against the principal of a loan while in college?

• Keep in mind that you will be friends with individuals from across the socioeconomic spectrum. You may have friends who struggle to find money to eat every meal. Do not expect all students to be able to fly around the world during spring break. Be considerate talking about finances around others.

  • Also, keep in mind that not everyone will have eaten in a fancy restaurant. Not everyone has experience flying in planes.

  • How will you divide up paying joint bills with others? Who puts their name down on the utility bill or the rental lease, if you live off campus?

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Transitioning to College: Cooking & Eating

As students prepare to leave their routines and their parents’ homes, one of the most comforting and grounding elements of transitioning to a new environment that we need get them to consider is food! Moving to a new location can be an alienating and challenging experience for anyone, but having some plans in place to address this one simple element of comfort can go a long way, according to so many of our alums. Additionally, there are some life skills buried in this consideration about cooking and fending for oneself. Ultimately, we want you to consider this question this week:

What are your plans surrounding eating and preparing food yourself?

Here are several additional questions and points to consider:

• What are the options for campus meal plans? If you get the full (maximum) campus meal plan, how many meals per week are there? Is that sufficient for you? (You may have to wait to know where you are going to learn this information and/or wait until they share this information with you. If you don’t know your final destination yet, choose a favorite school and familiarize yourself with the meal plan options!)

• Can you use your meal plan at local restaurants/eateries off-campus?

• Will alternative eating options come from pocket money? Who will pay for those?

• Have you explored what food options are available off-campus? Your favorite snack? Cuisine from home? Delivery?

• Do you know if your dormitory will have a communal kitchen or kitchenette? Are there otherwise places where you could cook for yourself?

• Do you know the difference between induction, gas, and electric ranges/ovens? If not, learn now!

• Do you know how to make simple meals? Choose 3 simple meals to master and work with your parents to learn. (Here are some suggestions!)

• Do you understand the basics of healthy eating? Of a well-balanced diet? (See this resource from the British Nutrition Foundation.)

• Are you allowed to have a rice cooker, steamer, or kettle in your dorm room? Refrigerator? Is any of this provided?

• Remember to still get exercise! (Read this piece on avoiding the “freshman 15”!)

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Things to Know about Depositing at a College

With many college acceptances coming through and many more on their way, now is a great time to review the practice of depositing at a college. In its simplest possible form, students may send in a deposit to only one college or university by the designated deadline. In the United States, that date is May 1 each year, the National Candidates’ Reply Date. The one exception to this rule about sending only one enrollment deposit is when students are admitted off of a waitlist at another college;  these students may submit a second deposit but must notify the initial college and forgo their deposit to that institution.

If you have any questions about this process whatsoever, please consult with your college or guidance counselor!

The thing to understand is that your school counselor can only send a final transcript — the final piece of the application to a US college — to one institution (with the exception of waitlist acceptances), so be sure to know what the protocol and expectations are.

First, some vocabulary… A deposit is a nonrefundable sum of money required by a college for an admitted student to reserve his or her place at the college; in essence, the deposit signifies the student’s intention to enroll at that institution.  In the US, the deposit is typically US$200-$800, while they tend to be more expensive elsewhere (e.g. in Hong Kong, one student was asked for a US$3500 deposit).

To double-deposit is to submit deposits to more than one institution. This is an unethical practice considering a student would be indicating to two or more different colleges that he or she intends on enrolling there when he or she can only attend one. To be clear, though it is debatable whether a student could be “caught” double-depositing and in any way held accountable (and there are certainly those who do not see the practice as unethical), most high schools see a firm obligation to uphold the principles of the issue. Upon applying (see below), applicants are asked to agree not to double deposit, and colleges reserve the right to rescind offers to students caught double-depositing. Additionally, failing to respect this practice can hurt schools’ working relationships with specific colleges and universities. Finally, with the exception of schools where a student is admitted off the waitlist, school-based counselors can and will submit a student’s final transcript to only one college or university after graduation.

Here is the statement that students must agree to on the Common Application, though other applications typically include some similar language:

I affirm that I will send an enrollment deposit (or equivalent) to only one institution; sending multiple deposits (or equivalent) may result in the withdrawal of my admission offers from all institutions. [Note: students may send an enrollment deposit (or equivalent) to a second institution where they have been admitted from the waitlist, provided that they inform the first institution that they will no longer be enrolling.]

It is our experience that some colleges, particularly large residential universities in the US, may ask for a housing deposit ahead of the May 1 deadline to reserve a space in campus housing. Students may choose to submit these deposits independently of their decision to submit an enrollment deposit, and such housing deposits should be refundable. Be sure to read the expectations carefully!

One additional complication, in our experience, is when a student is navigating acceptances across international boundaries where the notification and/or deposit deadlines do not align. Generally, students should seek guidance from their school-based counselors to ensure that they are proceeding ethically, but it is quite common for school-based counselors to recommend that students stick to just one deposit at a time.

Overall, in closing, it should be reiterated that if you have specific questions pertaining to this part of the process, please be in touch with your school-based college or guidance counselor.

Transitioning to College: Transportation

As students make the transition from their familiar environs and homes to other locales around the globe, there are a number of points to consider in regards to how a college student gets around. We will discuss the concept of traveling to college and of the the initial drop-off at college in other posts, so this space is designated just for the logistics of transportation. More generally, the question we hope for seniors and their parents to discuss is as follows:

What are the expectations and parameters around transportation while at university?

Here are several additional questions and points to consider:

• What are the available means of transportation around your college campus? (Given that this discussion may take place prior to knowing the final destination, be sure to come back to this question later, but explore the following nonetheless.)

• What are acceptable methods of transportation, including taxis, Ubers (or the equivalent), trains, subways, busses, etc?

  • Taxis, Ubers, and municipal (city-run) public transportation are usually more expensive in the US than elsewhere, but university-run shuttle/bus services (probably more common or at least more comprehensive at large universities?) are often inexpensive or free (or included already in student fees).

  • Additionally, public transportation can elicit culture shock in some parts of the world, where subways, trains, and busses are less reliable and less clean in comparison to much of Asia, for example. In the US, in particular, travel by car is far more common.

• What are your thoughts and expectations about getting into vehicles with other students? Their parents? Relatives? In what circumstances would these be acceptable or not?

• Does your college provide shuttle services?

• How do you plan to get to and from the airport?

• Do you plan to get a driver’s license? Have you explored getting one in your home country or in your destination country? (Keep in mind some places are easier than others, and some countries have reciprocity agreements where foreign licenses are accepted while others do not.)

• Do you plan to have a vehicle at college? Have you discussed the possibility of using a ZipCar? Are freshmen allowed to have cars? Where would you park your car?

• Keep in mind that not all countries drive on the right-hand side!

• Don’t ever get into a vehicle with someone who has been drinking alcohol. Ever.

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Transitioning to College: Travelling to College

For so many students across the globe and especially for students enrolling in other countries, going to college means some significant travel to get to and from home. The logistics required of this is the primary focus of this post. We endeavor here to get you thinking and talking about the many elements and challenges of traveling away from home for college. We will talk later about more specifics surrounding transportation while at college, many of the challenges of being so far away from home, and the specific topic of the initial freshman drop-off. For now, we hope these topics will spur some good discussions about transition, starting with this overarching question:

What are the parameters around travel to and from university?

Here are some additional questions to consider:

• When is it expected that the student will come home? For all school vacations? What will happen over the shorter breaks where travel home is not possible?

  • For example, if going to school in the USA, where will the student spend Thanksgiving, often the first holiday break for first-year students, but, for some, maybe not a long enough break to come home and to deal with jet lag?

• Who will purchase the tickets for travel? Who will get the air miles? (If you don’t have air miles accounts, be sure to set them up!)

• What is expected of the student when back home? This can mean a lot of different things to various families, but the question is intended to initiate conversation about sleep, rest, relaxation, curfew, chores, spending time with family, etc.

• What about unplanned trips home for emergencies? What would constitute an emergency that would necessitate a trip home? It is hard sometimes to contemplate these situations, but it helps later to have anticipated some of them and to have discussed some of the logistics and process behind them.

• Parent Insight: Be aware that the school’s academic calendar (first day of classes, last day of semester) does not always align with when their flights should be made! From one recent parent, “I scheduled [my daughter’s] return flight based on her school calendar, when in reality she had to get out of the dorm earlier than that.”  

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Transitioning to College: Laundry

The topic of laundry may seem mundane and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but it is a great one for early on in the transition process because it begs a number of questions about the skills seniors have or do not have. Also, don’t be misled into thinking that you will just get the laundry service offered at many colleges! They can be expensive and inconvenient. Inevitably, there will come a time when you need do your own laundry. So, fundamentally:

Do you know how to wash and take care of your laundry? 

Here are some corollary points to consider:

• Do you know how to operate a washing machine?

• Do you know the difference between laundry detergent, bleach, fabric softener, and other products for laundry?

• Do you know how to shop for laundry care products?

• Can you properly sort your laundry?

• Do you know how to read a clothing label?

• Are you aware of any clothing you wear that requires special handling?

• What gets cold water wash? Warm or hot water wash?

• What should and what should not go into the dryer?

• Do you prefer fabric softener sheets or liquid?

• Where is the lint trap? Know how to clean it?

• Do you know what has happened when you shrink something in the laundry?

• Do you know how to hang things out to dry?

• Do you know how to fold your own laundry?

• What should get dry cleaned?

• Do you know how to wash bed sheets and blankets?

• Do you know how to wash bath towels?

• How do you hand-wash delicates?

When the final college destination is known, here are some additional points of consideration:

• Will you sign up for the laundry service?

  • How expensive is it? Is it worth your time and money?

  • When does it pick-up and drop-off? Does it do linens and bedding? Dry cleaning? Delicates?

  • Will the service provide bedding?

• Where is the nearest laundromat on-campus? Off-campus?

• Where is the nearest dry cleaner?

If you read this early enough, there will be plenty of time to learn how to take care of your own laundry! Parents, are there any other self-care skills that your child needs to learn before heading off to college?

And don’t skip the possibility of sharing this video:

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

Transitioning to College: Beginning the Conversation

This series of blog posts is intended specifically for seniors and their parents. It stems from our desire in to start our pending graduates down the path of transitioning to college, away from high school, away from their comforts, and away from home earlier in the spring. This can be a challenging time, and there are no right or wrong answers; there is no “how to” book that applies to all situations. As such, what we endeavor to do is to provide a series of questions and discussion points for seniors and their parents to examine on a weekly basis throughout the spring. We ask students and their parents to set a time each week to discuss the new topic. Some topics will be more easily navigated once a student knows where he/she is attending college, but each, we believe, is worth exploring regardless of whether the destination is known. It is our hope that these discussions will strengthen bonds and result in a more streamlined and self-aware transition. 

For our first topic, we want to start relatively simply, to start the habit of having these discussions with a relatively simple query:

Will you have a cellular phone at college?

Here are some corollary points to ponder:

• If you will not have a cell phone, how will communication occur?

• Will you purchase a new phone or use your current phone?

• Will you purchase a local phone (in your university’s country) or buy one at home and then purchase a local SIM card?

• Have you researched options yet?

• Will you keep two phones, one from home and one local to your college?

• Who will be responsible for paying the monthly bill?

• If you are buying the phone, who will be responsible for paying for it?

• What sorts of restrictions or calling, texting, data packages are you considering?

In this conversation, we have steered deliberately clear of the question of expectations surrounding how the phone might be used. That topic will come up later!

This piece is part of a series on “transitioning to college.” We encourage graduating seniors and their parents or guardians to engage in discussion on a weekly basis about these topics. If you have feedback or additional ideas or perspectives to share, please let us know so we can incorporate your thoughts into revisions of our posts.

5 Things You Need to Know About Senior Spring

Senior Slide. Senior Slump. Senior Spring. Senior Slack. Senioritis.

"I got accepted into college. Now nothing matters."

We hope all seniors (and their parents) will take time to reflect upon our notes below and rise above the impetus to allow their efforts to wane.

1. All offers of acceptance are conditional. Although the terminology is typically reserved for application offer formats elsewhere in the world, the "conditional offer" applies to all acceptances, including those to US schools. All colleges and universities expect students to continue on with their studies in a manner consistent with that demonstrated at the time of and on their application. Drops in grades, therefore, could result in colleges rescinding their offers of admission! There is always a senior or two in each class who risks it all by allowing efforts to slacken.

2. AP and IB exams matter. In addition to those explicit terms of a conditional offer (where a student may be told he or she must achieve a certain score on an exam), AP and IB exams are important. In some cases, they can result in advanced standing (e.g. sophomore status) if your AP scores are high enough to earn credits, thereby lessening the cost of college. In other cases, these scores may be used to allow you to bypass introductory-level courses. They do matter!

3. Scholarships could be in the balance. Some students may have been awarded scholarships for demonstrating a certain level of achievement or even certain character attributes. Ceasing to meet these ideals can result in the loss of these free monies. Also, other universities will award additional scholarship money based upon achievement at graduation; if you slack off, this money will go elsewhere! (In the class of 2018, we had a student who was awarded after graduation in July a US$20K scholarship that he did not apply for when his college saw his stellar spring semester performance!)

4. Spring performance is a predictor of success. Perhaps most importantly, performance during the spring of senior year has been shown to be positively correlated with college performance. In other words, how you finish high school tends to predict how you will fare in college! This lends credence to the college practice of rescinding offers!

5. You will appreciate ending high school on a positive note. After all the hard work you have put in during high school, you will appreciate later on (if not necessarily now) knowing that you ended on a high note. How awkward it would be if you left in a manner that resulted in your feeling embarrassed about coming back to see so many people who have meant so much to you!

In the end, the message is simple: KEEP WORKING!

I originally wrote a version of this post for http://blogs.tas.edu.tw/collegecounseling/2019/01/15/5-things-you-need-to-know-about-senior-spring/on 15 January 2019.

Writing Notes of Update to Colleges

Throughout the college application process, there may come times when a college explicitly asks for an update from a student or when it might behoove the student to send one outside the parameters of the requested components of the application. In regards to this latter scenario, this typically occurs when a student’s early application (either early decision or early action) has been deferred by a university. Here are some thoughts when crafting these notes:

• Unless specifically requested by a university, please do not write updates if there is nothing to update them on! Between November and February, for the vast majority of seniors, there is nothing new to report aside from first semester grades, but the colleges will all have received them as part of the midyear report. (Be sure to check that this is correct with your school counselor, though!) Best to avoid sending a lackluster or otherwise unhelpful note that merely occupies the time of a college admissions person.

• If a college does request an update, please be sure to read their instructions carefully. Often they are very explicit about what sort of information they are looking for, and often there is a word count or other restriction. Pay attention to the little details. See below for additional suggestions.

• If you are going to write an update, here are some pointers:

  • Be respectful of your reader’s time. Be succinct and only include that which is necessary and legitimately an update.

  • Be precise and accurate in your language. While a misplaced comma or grammar issue can certainly be forgiven within the context of an entire application, these notes tend to stand out on their own, so make sure they are carefully crafted.

  • Avoid listing and instead focus on interpreting. For example, although your colleges will all likely have received your first semester, second quarter, or first trimester grades (depending on your school) as apart of the midyear report, you may choose to highlight or otherwise point out a particularly noteworthy part of your achievements. (e.g. “In Physics, my favorite class, I was able to earn an A- on the final exam due to my commitment to reviewing all of my homework, resulting in my highest performance to date.”)

  • Typically, most of the updates students will share are in regards to extracurricular activities. Keep these to one or two sentences each, and be aware that people outside of your school might not understand some of the common vernacular and lingo surrounding your school. Be succinct yet thorough in explaining such terms.

  • If true, share with the college that “if admitted, I will attend.” If not true, do not utter these words.

  • Be appreciative and respectful, even if you have been deferred!

  • Write a draft and share it with your college counselor or someone else who would be happy to help you proof your note and to provide feedback.

I originally wrote a version of this post for http://blogs.tas.edu.tw/collegecounseling/2019/01/23/writing-notes-of-update-to-colleges/ on 23 January 2019.