Throughout this past spring and into the summer, as I have worked with college counselors the world over in various capacities, I have regularly encountered college counselors who shared that due to the COVID-19 impact on their students, they are more regularly encountering students opening up and sharing their stress, their sadness, and their mental health challenges, often much to their surprise, chagrin, and discomfort, especially among those without any training in how to address these encounters. So many have expressed concern about how they best can handle these situations.

The best advice I have encountered for those who want to be supportive is the VAR method from Active Minds. Please do read more at their website, but here is the gist of it: validate, appreciate, refer.

Definitely do your research and read more, but the formula is pretty simple and hopefully provides some structure for those encountering students who are having “more than a bad day” (see the video below) and not knowing how to handle it.

V is for Validate their Concerns, making it okay for them to be feeling off (e.g. “That sounds tough.”)
A is for Affirmation - Appreciate their courage for sharing their trouble with you (e.g. “Thanks for sharing. I’m here for you.”)
R is for Refer, sending them in the right direction to seek additional resources (e.g. “I just started doing a mediation app at lunch hour. Would you like to join?” or “It seems you might benefit from talking to someone about this. Can I introduce you to our counselor?”)

A quick and easy skill, for sure, but one that can be super helpful in today’s age. You don’t have to have all the answers or solutions!